The new scourge on the American Women

That’s right. It’s constipation.

If you haven’t noticed the sudden algae bloom of fiber cereals in your local grocery store (and advertised on your favorite late-nite tv show), you may still have picked up on the not so subtle messages from our friend Jamie Lee Curtis and the good people at Activia. Or maybe you tried the Yoplait spin off yogurt. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve seen the commercial for new OTC Miralax. If you have, or if you live under a rock but still suffer from occasional constipation or “irregularity” as they call it in the biz, you’re nearly garunteed to have a pair of XX chromosomes. Or at least, that’s what the advertisers seem to think.

Yes, suddenly American women are shitting raisins, and many of us not even that. WTF femenists? Why can’t we go? I would love to be a fly on the wall of shareholders meeting. “OK folks. We’ve already revived all those 80’s diet fads. Striptease cardio is so last year, all the good diet drugs are illegal now and Alli is making everyone shit their pants.  So how can we keep bankrupting women? Wait, I know! Constipation! Amazing! Brilliant!” So I want to know: is it really that women do suffer more constipation than men? Are we singlehandedly supporting the laxative and digestive aid market? Has it always been this way? And if not, what changed to make American women so damn anal retentive? OR is it all in our heads?

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