As I sit here at 2:20 am listening to my roommate and her boyfriend play Mario Kart (hey, it totally beats anything else i could overhear them doing, right?) I am reminded of how, less than a month ago, I was miserable. Totally and utterly. Yet, sitting here in the same fold-out chair, behind the same child-sized desk, I am roughly one million times happier and more productive than I was just 20 days ago, despite the fact that I have almost twice as much work as I did at the beginning of October, and internship season is just now getting into gear.
You may be asking, how is this possible? What on Earth could so fundamentally alter your state of mind? And where can I get one?
I’ll tell you. It’s a squirrel lamp. That’s right, a ceramic lamp shaped like a squirrel with an energy-saving compact florescent bulb screwed into the crown of its scull. You can buy it at Urban Outfitters (I know, I know) for $9.99.
Of course, the squirrel is not really what changed. It’s a metaphor, y’all. The squirrel is a metaphor for the positive feed back loop that happens when you feel miserable in the place where you live. If you avoid going home because you hate your situation, then you never make any effort to improve it. And when it doesn’t improve, or in some certain cases, gets worse, you want to go back even less. By contrast, if you occupy a space that is pleasant, you are more likely to make it more pleasant, because you are more likely to mother-fucking be there.
Contrary to popular belief, the line between something pleasant and unpleasant can be very slim: shaving a few blocks and a few minutes off a commute. Not having flies. Being nearer to friends, your job and your place of worship. Not having windows fall on you while you read the paper—it all adds up.
It adds up to better grades in school and better work performance. It adds up to more time and energy to be creative, to eating and sleeping better. Being happy in your environs saves you money and gives you a blowjob. Well, maybe not the blowjob, but together, a lot of little things add up to a better life. And then one day you wake up and you say to yourself, “you know what self? I want a mother fucking squirrel lamp.” And then you fucking get it.And you know what?
It really ties the room together.