A word about time

Yes, I realize I’ve been gone a while. About a month, actually. I’ve been reading (a lot) and writing (just not here). Anyway, given I’ve been away for so long, I thought I’d bring it back with a few words about time. Specifically, Russian Time.

More specifically, Dmitri Medvedev’s plan to slash nearly 2/3 of Russia’s time zones. That’s right, the president who has so far distinguished himself as a very attractive and well mannered sock puppet of Vladimir Putin is putting his foot down. Frustrated with his lack of power, the president IS TAKING ON TIME ITSELF.

As surreal as it sounds, there’s actually a long history of time tampering in world politics.  China has just one time zone (until 1949 it had five), making it the largest country in the world to eat dinner at the same time. Since partition, India and Pakistan have been separated by half an hour (because I mean, heaven forbid it be the same time in Delhi and Islamabad). And wedged between the superpowers India and China, Nepal finds itself 15 minutes ahead of the former but an hour and 15 minutes behind the latter.

Across most of Asia and Africa, daylight savings time is an abstraction; yet, walk into a telemarketing office and it’s a hard and fast reality.

Iranian President Ahmedinejad was so pissed off at DST  he actually banned it in 2006, but was overruled a year later by an angry parliament who thought he was being capricious and a dickbag. DST was reinstated in Iran in 2008, but may not be there for long.  And Arizona STILL won’t get with the program. Motherfuckers

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For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn

Police are trying to track down the psycho parents of a toddler who was ABANDONED in a stroller on an UES sidewalk after a fight. The only shred of evidence is a receipt for baby shoes (from H&M), never worn, which has since led to the arrest of the baby’s father for reckless endangerment of a child. Bet Hemingway never thought about that.

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